The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways

I often ponder God's sense of humor. I have no doubt that He has one. The evidence is omnipresent and irrefutable.

For instance, why does he allow husbands to open their mouths to make seemingly innocuous, and absolutely accurate, comments that they know will cause their wives to go into an apoplectic shock that will cause marriage stress for hours or days?

This morning I witnessed God's laughter first hand. I had two coffee cups in my car and, as I got ready to leave to take the kids to school, I told my wife I would bring them to her. She said, "just sit them down and I'll get them later." Now, if God did not have such a wicked sense of humor he would have simply allowed me to set them on a table in my garage, smile, and go on. But NOOOOOOO.

My garage is a pit. It drives me crazy. There are kites, bikes, bats, balls, tents, bags, a veritable plethora of child-related crap lying all over. I absolutely hate this. Why? Because I do. So, instead of just putting down the coffee cups, getting into my car, and silently driving away I said, "you know they'll still be here in two weeks."

Because of God's sense of humor I had a door slammed in my face.

If God didn't have a sense of humor why would he allow our minds to grow sharper and our bodies turn into blubber-enhanced piles of recliner goo? And, if men were really that smart, why would we continue to attempt to play sports designed for younger men? I know why. Because God invented Chiropractors and Orthopaedic Medicine specialists, and they have to feed their families, too.

This morning a friend related to me how he had attempted to play softball and had ruptured a hamstring so badly his thigh looked like a coal bin. As I had done this in the last two years, and as both of us are either pushing 50 or have already blown past that barrier, it caused me to, again, contemplate God's sense of humor. Why are men stupid enough to think they can still run bases at 50, but smart enough to invent things like a kit to turn a normal refrigerator into one for beer kegs? The wonder of it all simply causes me to pause.

And then there is beer. Ben Franklin said, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." OK, I can see that. But if God does not have a sense of humor, why does he let white people drink beer and then go dancing? And why, if God does not have a sense of humor, did he allow the Village People to record "YMCA"? Go to a local minor-league baseball game. See JoeBob and SallyJoe drink beer. See white folks dancing to YMCA. There is no better evidence of God's sense of humor.

And, of course, one need not look farther than children for further evidence of God's sense of humor. I mean, without children we adults would have no idea how stupid we really are. As my eldest grows older, I get simply more and more cerebrally challenged. I don't know where the brain cells are going. Maybe they leak out through my auditory canals as I sleep. All I know is, five years ago I was the smartest guy in the world. Now I think the word "dad" is Yiddish for "freaking idiot" or something. And pretty soon the little *&%$# will be able to outrun me. Of course, right before we finish that race I am going to trip him so he falls down and breaks his leg. THEN let's see who's smart about finding an doctor in a hurry.

There may be no more powerful evidence of God's warped sense of humor than the Cheeseburger. I mean, what self-respecting American can go an entire week without a Cheeseburger? There is nothing sublime about the Cheeseburger. The burned beef, the fat slabs of cheese, the tangy mustard, the odorous onion; it all assaults our senses and brings us a few minutes of animal fat induced bliss. Then, after a few weeks of Cheeseburgers, we take our Lipitor for high cholesterol, we get on the treadmill to sweat off the excess weight, and we do our tummy crunches to try to take the Cheeseburger-added inches off of our prodigious pouches. Maybe Cheeseburgers are God's way of bringing us to Him quicker than the world would otherwise allow. All I know is, when I get a good Cheeseburger, I spend a few minutes in heaven. And I hear God laughing at the irony.

God's sense of humor was pointed out to me in a really powerful way this morning. It seems I get this sort of epiphany at the strangest times. Today I was driving my car, and my youngest had turned my XM radio to a Christian station, one with modern gospel. BTW, if you don't have XM, go get it. It's one of the smartest purchases I ever made. I've had it for seven years now.

Anyway, Whitney Houston was singing, "I Love The Lord." If you've never heard this, it is powerful in its simplicity and beauty. And Houston shows off those God-given pipes. Talk about smart vs. stupid, this woman is a poster child. But she can wail. This song always gives me chills, and today it nearly sent me to tears. I started thinking about how blessed I am. I love my family. I have a bunch of friends I adore and, maybe more importantly, they accept me for who I am, warts and all. OK, maybe the big mouth can cause issues at times, but they still don't turn away and run when I walk up.

Houston's singing on "The Preacher's Wife" soundtrack, on which "I Love The Lord" and her absolutely stunning version of "Joy To The World" exist, will give you chills. Then, when you factor in all of the stupid mistakes she's made with her life, you figure that God is both benevolent and forgiving.

But, back to the sense of humor. Why did he allow me to buy a car with an amazing stereo system, and then give the parts guys the right to charge me $300 to replace a speaker in one of the doors? OK, that isn't God at work, so it must be the devil.

And the devil is at work in our world. When we celebrate "alternative lifestyles" that God clearly, and repeatedly, tells us are wrong in His word, when we spread rumors about people, when we refuse to tell people about our faith, when we eat ourselves into HMO-busting blobs, it's the devil who is laughing.

But then there is the most important evidence of God's sense of humor, because he is laughing at the Devil. God gave us His grace, and we are saved by that alone. If we repent, confess our sins to God, and believe in Him, we have his promise of everlasting life.

Talk about having the last laugh. Not even the ulcer my eldest is giving me can take that away. The ulcer is coming because he is JUST like me, and my mom and my wife are telling me it's God's way of getting back at me. Now, I don't believe in a vengeful God. But when I have to discipline my son because he is a wisea--, or because he smarts off, or because he is anal retentive about some of the stupidest things on the face of the planet (see cluttery garage above), well, let's just say I see God's wicked sense of humor. And that is just fine with me. Thank you, Lord.

So don't break his leg when I knock him down. A few bruises and a little humility will suffice. And maybe he can shut up for five minutes. But then he wouldn't be just like me anymore. So go ahead and have your little laugh. Your blessings to me show me you love me. Even if it's a tough love at times.