Musings

1. Why do Memphians seem not to care that Mayor Herenton may have illegally diverted millions of dollars worth of city legal work to a Little Rock law firm, probably made some friends rich, but they do care that he fathered an illegitimate child?
2. Several people who wanted to do business on Beale Street, or who already do business there, say Rickey Peete is demanding under the table money to open a shop on Beale. Someone different comes forward saying this every couple of months. Why don't they go on-the-record? Of course, Rickey can keep doing whatever and get reelected. He knows this.
3. Speaking of Rickey, the guy who approved the new, taxpayer paid-for, house for Rickey's grand-ma-ma is dodging a local reporter who has been pressing to find out why the deal got done, even though underlings say it should have, and was, vetoed. Man, I love this city. Hey, I need me a new crib. Wonder how much I'd have to pay a city official to get one?
4. Damn, I'm tired of loud cars. Forget the eardrum-bursting stereos. I'm talking about exhaust systems. They're so loud you can hear them blocks away. There are laws on the books, but the Sheriff and the po-po don't seem to want to enforce them. I guess they all live on quiet cul-de-sacs where all is quiet and warm. I say shut down all of the shops that sell stuff that violates the law, and see if there's an impact. Can't do that, though. Might interfere with campaign contributions.
5. And while I'm at it, I might just cap the next sucker who pulls up next to my car, if my kids are with me, and insists on playing vulgarity-laced music so loudly that my kids are picking up all kinds of new words. Your freedom of expression stops where it creates problems for children, jerk. Your momma may have reared you to be a "me-first" dick head, but my kid's momma isn't doing the same for hers.
6. I love the drivers who think it's my responsibility to get the hell out of their way when I'm driving down I-40 and they want to get on the highway. I truly believe 99.9 percent of the driving school flunk outs here don't know what a "Yield" sign is, or they think it's for everyone BUT them. I got so sick of it that I stayed put in the right lane on Sam Cooper the other day and made the thug in the '88 Olds go to the shoulder. Of course, he thinks it's my fault. But, hey, there are three full lanes of traffic. What does he want me to do about it? Oh, sure, I could have, and maybe should have, slowed down to let him in. But that fact that he was not using a turn signal and was, quite obviously, either convinced he was entitled to the lane more than I was or just didn't care made me say "I've had it". Of course, if he had hit me he would not have had insurance, which leads us to number 7.
7. The Moron-Collective on the city council insists that the city should not follow the lead of the state and toughen financial responsibility laws that require drivers to have insurance on their cars. Remember a couple of years ago? The council got pissed because the state toughened the laws, but all of the money from fines was going to state government. So, the council passed a separate law for Memphis, creating a $50 fine. OK, so let me get this straight. I don't get insurance. Saves me, probably, $500 a year. I get caught. I pay $50 and I'm right back on the street. My license doesn't get suspended (not that it stops anyone here from driving anyway). I say, take their damned cars and lock them away until they buy a six-month policy (minimum) and have to prove they paid for it up front.
8. And then they're Thomas Long, the local court clerk. Man, what an IQ-mon this genius is. He's responsible for making sure traffic fines get paid. So, what's he do? He says, "pay me a little at a time and you can go back to driving your car again." Yeah, I wonder how successful THAT is. Great, hell, would $10 per month be enough to ignore my five reckless driving convictions? I think this is another "circle the lips and suck" to Long's constituency. Hey, Thomas, don't worry about what's right. Worry about how to make the thugs and bangers like you, will ya'?
9. And then there's Mayor Herenton, which going full circle on my favorite elected official is probably as good a reason as any to end this section of rants. Why, with the city more than $1 billion in debt, does the Mayor not order city collectors to get busy trying to collect the more than $60 million in unpaid fines and $500 million in unpaid property taxes? Easy answers, on this one. The "hood" will dis the brother if he tries to get the fines paid. And the Roses, Turleys, Smiths, et.al. of the local gentryfied community will pull the patronage if Dr. Wille gets tough on the property taxes. Did you know that, if you don't pay your property taxes for ten years, that they start going away, year-by-year? I have spoken with several business owners who say, screw it, they'll put the money aside and, if they get caught, they'll pay. If it keeps being ignored, they'll pocket the money. In the mean time, the people of Memphis grab their ankles tighter and have to fork over higher sales taxes and other such things to make the budget work. Call me a raving liberal, if you will, but I believe that letting companies do whatever they want in the name of creating jobs doesn't work, because American companies have proved, time and again, that given the chance to do the responsible thing or increase profits, they will screw their sisters to increase dividends, they'll rape the environment to increase the bottom line. And so, Dr. Mayor keeps crying about the city needing money. If he had the nads, he could go get a big chunk of it right now. Hey, homes in the city get sold at tax auction. When was the last time you heard of that happening to a big business? Go on-line and see how much in back taxes are owed just by two companies, Auto Zone and CableVision (which is now Time Warner Cable). If you're not astounded, I'll refund the full purchase price of your time to look it up. Which you won't do because you're a lazy and apathetic person who didn't vote the last time anyway.

Ophelia is all I need to know about Memphis

I'm pissed this morning, but not surprised. The fact that Memphis would elect another Ford to public office simply confirms the opinion that most of the rest of the country has of us, that we're a bunch of idiots. But I'm not sure I'm more pissed off at the people who voted for Ford, or those who voted for Robert Hodges. I mean, my gosh, how often can this psychopath keep running and have morons keep voting for him? Let's check the math. Ophelia wins by 12 votes. 69 dumb-asses voted for Prince Mongo. Great. Of course, in the American system we're blessed to be able to cast our votes anonymously for any reprobate, deviate, or thief we choose. No doubt some of those 69 MENSA rejects felt neither of the other candidates in the race was worthy of their vote. The thing I'd ask, but which their feeble gray matter would not allow them to consider, is whether allowing Ophelia to win due to their ignorance and apathy was worth the big yuk-yuks they got while besotting themselves with Old Milwaukee. Oh, how hilarious to cast a vote for the Zambodian medicine chest. Makes me want to bust a gut thinking about how funny it is that Ophelia won. Or am I more pissed at the myopic bigots who voted for Ford only because she is her brother's sister and only because she is black? I will not accept anyone telling me she was the better of the candidates. During her "campaign", which was basically a string of appearances giving hugs, kisses, and "I'm one of you" comments, Ford never answered one question honestly, directly, or with anything approaching character. I was truly amused at the Commercial Appeal's efforts at getting the candidates to give real answers. Ford would not sit down for an interview. Instead, she mailed them in, and none was really an answer. It was her saying what she wanted, and ignoring the questions. Did the Commercial Appeal call her or try to force her to answer? And the electronic media in Memphis are so worried about kissing the Ford family's collective posteriors or possibly offending black viewers by asking real questions of a Ford that they weren't about to try to force her to say anything that approached real honesty in any way. The media in this city are a bunch of cowards. Come on, poeple. Dig, question, force answers. We actually want that, even if we're, collectively, a bunch of unconcerned mental midgets. Terrance Bates and Jeni Diprizo at 24/30 are the only two local reporters I see who will get in people's faces. Of course, I think this goes back to management at the stations being arrogant but cowardly lions more than anything else. Will the Tennessee GOP contest the election? I'm not sure it will, at least not with full force. I think it either has given up on Ford's district as a Democrat stronghold or is waiting until the next general election. Of course, I'm not sure the TN GOP leadership has a whole lot of foresight on anything when it comes to Memphis politics. Otherwise John Willingham would not have been the opponent for Mayor Herenton last time around. I truly believe Herenton is vulnerable, if the GOP will put some serious dollars and some truly issue-oriented ads into the market, and play them long and hard. I guess my biggest reason for my piss-off-edness is the Memphis 'tude. If you're black, vote black. If you're white, vote white. If you're black, you can't trust whitey under any circumstances. If you're white, watch your wallet around all black men. If you're black, make sure you're rude to every honky you meet. If you're white, make sure you walk on the other side of the street when you see black people coming. City leaders keep reinforcing this, espeically with the Mayor's thug-speak when he goes on urban radio. City leaders know they can tap into the predjudice of their constituency to keep things angry, and keep themselves getting reelected. After all, isn't it more important to look and act like someone than to actually have substance? In Memphis, bring your street cred and your ebonics-laced speech, because substance don't mean shit.

Katrina Aid

I must give Mayor Herenton credit where credit is due. I truly believe that the Mayor understood how he could profit from Hurricane Katrina, and come out looking like a concerned and caring Mayor and citizen. Watching Herenton and his sycophants preening for the cameras, proclaiming that the city would do everything possible to help evacuees from the hurricane area who had arrived in Memphis, one would almost believe that Herenton, et.al, had the best interests of the city and the evacuees in mind. Then, in the aftermath; the reality. When many local organizations started organizing their own relief efforts, Herenton sent his Alaskan lap dog, Kevin Kane, to tell them to stop. "We must have a unified effort to be successful", said Kevie. However, when one looks behind the scenes, one sees the insidious real reason for this. Only when the evacuees go through the system set up by Herenton and company does the city get FEMA money! Trust me, it's all about the Benjamins for Mayor "don't being me no mess". When the local ABC affiliate launched and carried out an incredibly successful effort to gather food and water for the victims, even going so far as to arrange for "Feed The Children" to handle logistics, lackey boy was back on television, telling Memphis to "not send things out of town." Great advice if the disaster were here, but with more than 2,000,000 people affected down south, where do Herenton and the kiss-bootay boys get off trying to hoard everything here for 2000 or so? Remember, it's all about the Benjamins. Here's the crowning jewel. Herenton got the fine folks at Clear Channel Radio to do a full day of shilling for the local Food Bank, ostensibly to fill it to provide food for local evacuees. Here's the punch line to this joke. The Food Bank is over full, arranging for alternate warehousing at a local Schnuck's facility. AND it's under orders to hold off on distributing food to non-city organized shelters. Add in the Red Cross' ineptitude and absolute disregard for anything except lining its own pockets, and you get a wonderful scenario of the Mayor and his butt goyums doing nothing more than, once again, absolutely doing a masterful job of accurately judging the vacuous nature of their constituency. They know the people of Memphis are glad to get down on their knees and swallow anything local policitians will spew. And, you can bet the fine folks at the king of all things TV on Union Avenue will be sucking right along with their viewers. Ain't never seen nothing the Mayor don't like that them there Peacock folks don't just love. I truly believe that, if the Mayor had been the one asking for the assasination of Hugo Chavez, WMC would have done "team coverage" about the merits of the idea. Why the city has such a romance with this second-rate "news" operation, I'll never know.